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Why Does Weight Matter So Much To Guys??.... (Page 4)

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Author	Topic: Why Does Weight Matter So Much To Guys??....
Falcon Member	posted 01-03-2001 01:13 PM Give her a while to call back. If she doesn't, then wait until about an hour before the beer bash. Call and ask if she wants a ride. It may go something like this: You: Hey, need a ride to the beer bash? Her: What the hell, you hung up on me earlier. You: Yeah, what can I say? (Important not to either blame her, or take any blame yourself.) So, you want a ride? Her: I don't know, you're not much of a friend. You: Okie doke. I'll be by in 25 minutes. Be dressed. There'll be cute guys there. Her: But I'm with BRETTT!!!! You: Yep, but you still want to be looked at, don't you? Cripes, I'm marrying the love of my life, but I still don't mind knowing guys think I'm hot. I'd say she'll call back first, though. Right now, she's calling her boyfriend to tell him what a jerk you are. They're both having a good time badmouthing you. After they get off the phone, she may call to tell you off. Remember, just be calm: "Look, I can't talk to you if you're screaming. Can we talk in a normal tone of voice?" If she keeps screaming, you just gotta hang up. Don't let people scream at you. IP: Logged
actsoblonde Member	posted 01-03-2001 01:14 PM My friend called back, like you said she would, Falcon. But this wasn't because she was mad. She said she'd just thrown up blood, and she sounded like death. I don't think my friend would go this far unless something was REALLY up. Should I just keep my cool or get over there as fast as possible?? IP: Logged
trawma Member	posted 01-03-2001 01:15 PM Oh, and don't forget to tell her that bulimia rots your teeth out of your head in short order. Ask her how her sweetie will like blackened stumps where her pearly whites used to be. Kris IP: Logged
Falcon Member	posted 01-03-2001 01:16 PM quote: Originally posted by trawma: I'm sorry, this is a stupid game, and your little buddy is a manipulative shit. So true, Kris. So true. IP: Logged
trawma Member	posted 01-03-2001 01:17 PM quote: Originally posted by actsoblonde: My friend called back, like you said she would, Falcon. But this wasn't because she was mad. She said she'd just thrown up blood, and she sounded like death. I don't think my friend would go this far unless something was REALLY up. Should I just keep my cool or get over there as fast as possible?? Tell her you are willing to meet her at the hospital, or summon an ambulance for her. If she's really puking blood (and I don't think she is), she'll agree. Kris IP: Logged
Falcon Member	posted 01-03-2001 01:17 PM quote: Originally posted by actsoblonde: My friend called back, like you said she would, Falcon. But this wasn't because she was mad. She said she'd just thrown up blood, and she sounded like death. I don't think my friend would go this far unless something was REALLY up. Should I just keep my cool or get over there as fast as possible?? Remember, DRAMA! She couldn't get your attention earlier. Now, it's possible she's in trouble. Ask her if she wants to come over to your place. Control the environment. See if that works. Good luck. IP: Logged
ARTRA Member	posted 01-03-2001 01:19 PM Read what I posted above my cheesecake post. If you think you qualify or understand or agree, please reply in kind. look me up. Although Artra has officially 'retired' from these boards as his friend I would like you all to visit his Gallery in the Contestant's Forum. It'll show you what you can do if you spend more time creating and less time worrying about food. - Tom - IP: Logged
Falcon Member	posted 01-03-2001 01:20 PM quote: Originally posted by trawma: Tell her you are willing to meet her at the hospital, or summon an ambulance for her. If she's really puking blood (and I don't think she is), she'll agree. Kris Good advice, Kris. I'm just thinking that contributes a little too much credence to the drama factor. If I were Actso, I'd get her friend over ot her place, get dressed, ready for the beer bash. Show her how fun normal life is. Take a moment once she's over to give her a hug and say something like, "You know, you're my best friend in the world. I love you and I care about you. Something is obviously bothering you. Can't you tell me? I mean, I'm your best friend." Participating in this drama just perpetuates it. IP: Logged
trawma Member	posted 01-03-2001 01:25 PM >>Good advice, Kris. I'm just thinking that contributes a little too much credence to the drama factor.<< I'm torn--on the one hand, I'm inclined to agree with you. On the other, I can't imagine a better way of discovering once and for all whether or not drama-girl is full of shit, you know? If she refuses to go to the hospital, she's likely lying. If she agrees, and the docs can't find anything wrong, she is again lying. I can't help but feel that the best course of action here is one that involves making it clear that her silly crap isn't being bought. A confirmation of her dishonesty would convey that message. Of course, there is the danger that such confirmation would inspire real action on her part. But I don't think that's going to happen. Kris IP: Logged
actsoblonde Member	posted 01-03-2001 01:26 PM I called her place, and still sounded like death. I said, "Look, I'm gonna come over and get you and we're gonna go the hospital, okay?". She goes, "No, I'm fine." and I said, "Well, okay. Do you want me to bring you to my place?" she agreed, so I'm gonna go over there and get her. I'll be back in 15 minutes and give you an update. IP: Logged
Falcon Member	posted 01-03-2001 01:26 PM Oh, and one more "fill in the blank"... after she got done trashing you with her boyfriend, the subject of her weight obviously came back up. He still wants her to lose weight. So she called you to tell you that she was spitting up blood. (Like, "see, I can't lose any weight, I'm sooo sick. Look at me cough I'm throwing up... ummm... BLOOD!") Do NOT call Brett. If Brett calls, make it clear you don't really want to talk to him. Be very unemotional about it. It's not because you hate him. It's not because of your friend. It's because you don't like Brett and don't see the need to talk to him. [This message has been edited by Falcon (edited 01-03-2001).] IP: Logged
Falcon Member	posted 01-03-2001 01:27 PM quote: Originally posted by trawma: I'm torn--on the one hand, I'm inclined to agree with you. On the other, I can't imagine a better way of discovering once and for all whether or not drama-girl is full of shit, you know? Good call, Chris. Actso's next post shows that your theory was right. IP: Logged
Berethrof Member	posted 01-03-2001 01:28 PM Falcon, Can I have your beeper/cell phone or something to call you up when I'm having problems of my own? For someone who hates giving advice, you give great tips. Just kidding about the phone numbers. -Ber IP: Logged
Falcon Member	posted 01-03-2001 01:29 PM quote: Originally posted by Berethrof: Falcon, Can I have your beeper/cell phone or something to call you up when I'm having problems of my own? For someone who hates giving advice, you give great tips. Just kidding about the phone numbers. -Ber Bwahahahaaa! IP: Logged
Berethrof Member	posted 01-03-2001 01:36 PM I had a ... well, can't even call her a girlfriend, so I'll call her an acquaintance with whom I did many things, that behaved like Actso's friend. Of course, she wasn't drawing attention with wanting to lose weight, but she was actually joking around with suicide; which is a very, VERY sad and pathetic thing to do, but that's how she got her kicks. Good thing it didn't take me too long to figure out that everything about her was pretty much a lie. Where were you when I needed you, Falcon? sniff -Ber IP: Logged
actsoblonde Member	posted 01-03-2001 01:47 PM Well, my friend's over here. She wasn't craving attention like we thought--she really IS bulimic. When I got there, she was so weak she could hardly walk. Than she had blood on her mouth from where she threw up. I had to practically CARRY her to my car. She said she didn't feel well enough to sit up, so she had to lay down in the backseat. It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SCARY. And right now she's asleep in one of the bedrooms on the bed. This is REALLY scary and horrible. IP: Logged
Falcon Member	posted 01-03-2001 01:53 PM quote: Originally posted by actsoblonde: Well, my friend's over here. She wasn't craving attention like we thought--she really IS bulimic. When I got there, she was so weak she could hardly walk. Than she had blood on her mouth from where she threw up. I had to practically CARRY her to my car. She said she didn't feel well enough to sit up, so she had to lay down in the backseat. It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SCARY. And right now she's asleep in one of the bedrooms on the bed. This is REALLY scary and horrible. Again, I would not over-react to this very much. The weakness is easy to fake. One day of fasting does not cause a person to spit up blood. See if she is ready to spit up some more. She may very well have an ulcer or something else wrong with her. Who knows. Once she wakes up, you probably need to just give her an ultimatum. Tell her you're getting in the car and you're going: 1. To get something to eat. 2. To the hospital. 3. To take her home. Make it clear that you're not calling Brett, now or ever, and you're not talking to him anymore. My gut tells me this is all part of a little passion play she's putting on so you'll bitch out Brett because she's too much of a punk to do it. Also, point out that if she doesn't eat or go to the hospital, then too bad. You'll attend her funeral. You won't call her. You won't talk to her on the phone, you'll just get on with your life until the obituary rolls out. Or... (and always present an attractive alternative), the two of you could go get something to eat and she could tell you what's going on. I also doubt she's actually sleeping. Just ask her flat-out: Brett thinks you're fat, doesn't he? If she says yes, ask if she thinks she's fat. Don't ARGUE, but tell her matter of factly that you don't think she's fat. It's tricky now. Good luck. Don't be afraid to turn your back. You already know it'll be minutes before she'll call. IP: Logged
sweetmelliemel Member	posted 01-03-2001 01:57 PM Actso, Even if she is bulemic, she is still craving attention. Continue with the Falcon psychology, you were doing well. Remember you have a life too, don't let her DRAMA ruin your life. It sounds like in situations like these you have always ran to take care of her, and she needs to start taking care of herself. Remember what Falcon said you are not her mother it is ok for you to distance yourself from her. IP: Logged
Falcon Member	posted 01-03-2001 01:57 PM Oh, and notice, I said in a previous post, make HER come to you. Does she have a car? Don't pick her up unless it's going somewhere you were going, anyway. Make her invest a little effort, here. IP: Logged
actsoblonde Member	posted 01-03-2001 01:58 PM I called Clint and we've decided to postpone the beer bash due to the situation. I've also decided that I'm not taking my friend home. She can just get over it. If this isn't thrived on attention, she could collapse at her apartment tonight and no one would be there to dial 911 or whatever. Also, I'm not going to my classes or work tomorrow. This could be the wrong thing to do, but I just can't bare the thought of her dying or something. I'd live in guilt of not helping her the rest of my life. IP: Logged
sweetmelliemel Member	posted 01-03-2001 02:00 PM I completely agree. She calls and she knows you will run and save her. If she pulls a I'm too weak to go to Beer bash you need to say. "Ok well I'm going, feel free to stay as long as you want." Then go and party. IP: Logged
actsoblonde Member	posted 01-03-2001 02:01 PM quote: Originally posted by Falcon: Oh, and notice, I said in a previous post, make HER come to you. Does she have a car? Don't pick her up unless it's going somewhere you were going, anyway. Make her invest a little effort, here. I already picked her up, though. She's at my place. IP: Logged
Falcon Member	posted 01-03-2001 02:01 PM Originally posted by actsoblonde: I called Clint and we've decided to postpone the beer bash due to the situation. Nooooo!!!! Are you out of your gddmned mind!!! Do the beer bash! If this isn't thrived on attention, she could collapse at her apartment tonight and no one would be there to dial 911 or whatever. No, but the 37 calls she'd make to you would be enough warning. Also, I'm not going to my classes or work tomorrow. You're joking, aren't you. You made this all up, didn't you? This could be the wrong thing to do, but I just can't bare the thought of her dying or something. I'd live in guilt of not helping her the rest of my life. It's your life. Waste it as a bit player in her little drama if you like. [This message has been edited by Falcon (edited 01-03-2001).] IP: Logged
AsRiaL Member	posted 01-03-2001 02:04 PM Not to change the subject or nothing * and I really do feel for you actsoblonde* But...Falcon I just saw your pic on queenies website and well uh drool Not only are you good looking but you seem to have a great personality and are helping this person out with all your great advice. I just had to throw in some props for you my friend. IP: Logged
sweetmelliemel Member	posted 01-03-2001 02:05 PM Once again you are letting her rule your life. It is time she took care of herself. If you think she is that bad you should call 911 and have them take her in now. Don't put your life on hold because of her. Please don't take this the wrong way, but it sounds like you enjoy feeling needed by her, and so you don't mind playing the martyr. You are now allowing her to hurt you too. If I were you I would keep your plans, and let her fend for herself. IP: Logged
Falcon Member	posted 01-03-2001 02:08 PM quote: Originally posted by sweetmelliemel: Once again you are letting her rule your life. It is time she took care of herself. If you think she is that bad you should call 911 and have them take her in now. Don't put your life on hold because of her. Please don't take this the wrong way, but it sounds like you enjoy feeling needed by her, and so you don't mind playing the martyr. You are now allowing her to hurt you too. If I were you I would keep your plans, and let her fend for herself. Right on, Melmel!!! Actually, if it were me, I'd wake her up in time for the beer bash, load her ass into the car and take her there. Order a big plate of pizza and sit it at the table with her. Look, if you really fear for her health, then take her to the hospital. Tell the ER nurse that she's coughing up blood. Simple as that. Tell her that she may have an ulcer and could die and you love her too much for that. Start haulin' her ass there right now if you believe this. My guess is that a chemical analysis of the "blood" on her face will have a high concentration of tomato concentrate in it. IP: Logged
Falcon Member	posted 01-03-2001 02:09 PM Asrial, you little minx!!! IP: Logged
actsoblonde Member	posted 01-03-2001 02:10 PM quote: Originally posted by sweetmelliemel: Once again you are letting her rule your life. It is time she took care of herself. If you think she is that bad you should call 911 and have them take her in now. Don't put your life on hold because of her. Please don't take this the wrong way, but it sounds like you enjoy feeling needed by her, and so you don't mind playing the martyr. You are now allowing her to hurt you too. If I were you I would keep your plans, and let her fend for herself. I don't enjoy it, but it's just that she's always been there for ME, no matter WHAT. I've been just like her at times, and she's kept on trying. I HAVE to keep trying. Clint called back and he still wants to do the beer bash. I don't know. I'm torn. IP: Logged
Falcon Member	posted 01-03-2001 02:11 PM quote: Originally posted by actsoblonde: I don't enjoy it, but it's just that she's always been there for ME, no matter WHAT. I've been just like her at times, and she's kept on trying. I HAVE to keep trying. Clint called back and he still wants to do the beer bash. I don't know. I'm torn. Look, you've got time to take her to the ER AND go to the beer bash!!! Start taking her to the car, now!!! She's weak, she can't put up a fight. Man, I bet she finds her second wind if you start trying to get her to go to the ER, though. Then, say, "Okay, the beer bash, then." IP: Logged
Falcon Member	posted 01-03-2001 02:12 PM quote: Originally posted by actsoblonde: I don't enjoy it, but it's just that she's always been there for ME, no matter WHAT. I've been just like her at times, and she's kept on trying. I HAVE to keep trying. Clint called back and he still wants to do the beer bash. I don't know. I'm torn. There's only one reason Clint wants the beer bash: because he's not an idiot. IP: Logged
actsoblonde Member	posted 01-03-2001 02:15 PM I called Clint back and said the beer bash was on. I woke my friend up. She looked sort of back to normal, but not by much. I said, "Are you POSITIVE you don't want to go to the hospital?" and she goes, "Yeah. What are we going to do tonight?" and I go, "We're going to the beer bash. Get up and get ready." How was that??? IP: Logged
sweetmelliemel Member	posted 01-03-2001 02:18 PM Go to the bash!! Remember your friend wants you to stay home, and by doing that you are playing into her little hands. I think it is funny that you got engaged and are planning a party and all of a sudden she is feeling weak and puking blood. Sounds like she is trying to rain on your parade. Once again has she even congratulated you yet? A friend would be happy for you and tell you to go to the party not stir up drama to draw attention to herself. IP: Logged
trawma Member	posted 01-03-2001 02:18 PM Let me help you out here--I mean this in the nicest way-- You are being played. Flat out. IF she actually did vomit blood, she needs to be in a hospital NOW. Not tomorrow, not later, NOW. Gastric bleeding to the point of "blood on her mouth" can be indicative of a perforated stomach wall. This can be deadly--peritonitis, sepsis--we're talking fatal. So IF she really is bleeding, she's in bad trouble. Stop letting her play you. You're not helping her by fluttering around her and screwing up your own life. You're encouraging her to manipulate you and hurt herself. If YOU believe that she really is bleeding, take her to the hospital or call an ambulance. Period. Kris IP: Logged
Falcon Member	posted 01-03-2001 02:19 PM This is an easy one, Actso... Let's put it this way. On the one hand: 1. Mentally stable, good looking, med school student. On the other hand: 2. Psycho friend with even worse boyfriend, wearing ketchup on her face to simulate blood, pretending to be coughing up blood after 12 hours of fasting. Easy choice, honey. Go with the med school student. There's a future in it. IP: Logged
sweetmelliemel Member	posted 01-03-2001 02:19 PM P.S. Falcon I think I love you. Just kidding! Next time I am in need of a reality check I will be sure to talk to you, because honey you tell it like it is! IP: Logged
Falcon Member	posted 01-03-2001 02:20 PM quote: Originally posted by actsoblonde: I called Clint back and said the beer bash was on. I woke my friend up. She looked sort of back to normal, but not by much. I said, "Are you POSITIVE you don't want to go to the hospital?" and she goes, "Yeah. What are we going to do tonight?" and I go, "We're going to the beer bash. Get up and get ready." How was that??? Beer bash is fine. Tell her that if she feels like spitting up more blood to let you know so you can watch. (Just in case.) Oh, and be prepared. I feel a "fake fainting spell" coming on in the middle of everybody at the beer bash. IP: Logged
cmclippe Member	posted 01-03-2001 02:20 PM quote: Originally posted by actsoblonde: Falcon, I tried your little technique about getting her to go someplace with me. When she called again, I asked if she was going to the beer bash tonight to celebrate mine and Clint's engagement. She said, "Beer? No thanks. Too fattening." I said "Well, just come because you're my best friend and you can talk to everyone else, okay?" She goes in a REALLY whiney voice, "But Brett won't be there!" I'm like, "Well, who's more important? Your best friend or some jerky guy?" She didn't know what to say to that, so she agreed. I'm gonna see if she sneaks a beer or something when I'm not watching. Y'all are right, she COULD just be doing this for attention, although I'd be REALLY shocked if she was. It's starting to point to nothing else but attention starved, though. We'll see what happens. i haven't read everything posted, so this may not apply. Hope it's not out of place. GET A CLUE! This bitch is ruining your engagement! She doesn't have have an eating disorder. She's punishing you for being happy. She's not going to stop until you and Clint are broken up, and you're spending all your time waiting on her every whim. Ditch the bitch. Excuse the sexist language, but in this case, that's esactly what she is. Has she said one good word to you about your engagement? IP: Logged
Berethrof Member	posted 01-03-2001 02:20 PM Hey, I saw him first! -Ber IP: Logged
Falcon Member	posted 01-03-2001 02:21 PM quote: Originally posted by Berethrof: Hey, I saw him first! -Ber Well, actually Clippe saw me first. Haha! IP: Logged
Berethrof Member	posted 01-03-2001 02:23 PM quote: Originally posted by Falcon: Well, actually Clippe saw me first. Haha! But I'm really just kidding about the phone numbers... really. -Ber IP: Logged

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