posted 04-18-2001 07:46 AM            

DANG!

Good luck to you friend:-)

Still willing to help you out if you give a bit more info.
I think I could do the 'Uppity' female.

posted 04-18-2001 08:29 AM            

DIANA

Single white female, professional, 25, attractive wholesome all-american girl next door, seeks single man, 25 to 35, for dating and possible long term relationship.

Race or religion unimportant but please don't be a bible-banging maniac or a scientologist.

Applicants must be disease and drug-free, non-smoker, the only exception being very expensive cigars, those are okay.

You must, MUST be employed full-time. And employed at an adult level, no pizza delivery boys or messengers, ONLY working professionals that support themselves without ANY help from their parents.

And for God's sake, no artists or actors please, only real people from the real world.

NO MUSICIANS.

You must be attractive, athletic and in shape, but no weight lifting steroid freaks either.

No mustache or facial hair but please have your own hair on your head.

No hair on your back.

Please know how to read.

Please be kind, warm, witty and very, very giving.

I am looking for a man who can really love me. Nothing dirty or perverted, just someone who can really, really love me. I want to be loved. By a normal man.

Not that I'm repressed or anything, I'm not, I'm very sexually expressive, I enjoy my body in clean healthy ways and would want you to also. Just nothing dirty or perverted.

But I am open, I am open to new things, if you want to play dress up I can do that, role-playing is a lot of fun, we can play French maid and Master of the house, I have the costume already. That's fun in a clean way. Or we can play Little Bo Peep and her lost sheep, or my favorite, Hillary Clinton and her Secret Service BodyGuard. That's a good one and it's very tasteful too.

If you want, we can buy one of those books and try different positions, you know, all that athletic yoga kama-sutra stuff, I'm open to that. Pictures can help, even one of those better sex videos, that'd be all right, as long as it's clean and tastefully done, we can even make a video of ourselves . . . doing it . . . but nothing dirty or perverted.

Intercourse in public places is . . . fine too, that's all right, I could go for that, I guess. Just not on Sunday. THAT would be dirty and perverted.

If you want me to pee on you, I will. There will be no feces involved however, none of that, when we talk defecation, we are starting to lean toward dirty and perverted. BUT . . . if you want to tongue my ass . . . that's all right too, I wouldn't mind that, just don't be too dirty or perverted about it.

Bondage is agreeable, but nothing homemade, only approved marketable leather goods, chains and masks, all dildoes must be pre-approved by me, malleable and at least ten inches in length. All whips must be leather as well and they must be kept fresh and supple. Spanking and whipping must be delivered with a firm hand in harsh disciplined strokes, none of this wild thrashing about, I mustn't be bruised so badly that I will be unable to make it to work the next day, that would be unacceptable as well as dirty and perverted.

Three-way is fine, bring a friend and as long as he checks out medically and meets the aforementioned conditions then I'm a game goose. As far as a female participant is concerned, umm . . . okay, I'll make love to a woman for you, but I must have mutual approval of said female and she must be at least over eighteen and not a prostitute. Oh! And she must be AT LEAST ten years younger than my mother. Anyone older is DEFINITELY dirty and perverted.

One final word on anal sex. Now look, I like a good ass-pounding as much as the next girl, there's nothing like having the old pipes reamed out once in awhile, but this is a real relationship I'm talking about here and a real relationship is about give and take so . . . if it's butt-fucking we're talking about, I should be allowed to strap a big one on and give as good as I take, it's only fair, anything else is just dirty and perverted.

All I really want is to meet a nice normal guy who really knows how to love me.

posted 04-18-2001 11:40 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Jules:
I love Renee--man, you are just so talanted.

Hey BJ! hope it goes well.

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