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Author	Topic: The Art of Filing Crunchberries
ANNOYANCE . Member	posted 04-17-2001 12:58 PM She's the active one. I'm the reactive one. We get a lot done. And run in circles very fast. IP: Logged
ANNOYANCE Member	posted 04-17-2001 01:06 PM Our latest offering... THE PEAR-DRUM by ANNOYANCE and ANNOYANCE. Once upon a time there were two little girls. Their names were Petunya and Annoyance. Petunya was named after a bright, funnel-shaped flower, and Annoyance's name was chosen from one of those baby name books. They lived in a little house on a moor with their mother and their baby brother. (The baby cried all day and was unbelievably annoying.) Their father was a handsome and rugged sailor who voyaged to faraway lands. One day Petunya and Annoyance went for a walk upon the moor, and they met a gypsy girl named Sylvia. Sylvia was playing a funky beat on a pear-drum. When she played, a little man and woman came out of the drum and boogied. The little man was named Safetydancer, the little woman BJ. (BJ stood for "boogie jamboree.") Petunya and Annoyance were enchanted, and begged Sylvia to give them the pear-drum. "I will give it to you," said Sylvia, "but only if you are very naughty. Come back tomorrow and prove your naughtiness." So the girls went home and torpedoed their mother. The next day, the girls told Sylvia what they'd done. "Our mother's gone!" cried Petunya. "Obliterated!" shrieked Annoyance. Sylvia yawned. Then, with a quick strike of her fist, she killed a mockingbird. The bird fell to the ground, squashing Safetydancer and BJ on impact. "There's more where THEY came from," said Sylvia. "The moors are FILLED with crunchberries!" She belly-laughed, and slowly vanished into thin air. Her laughter echoed for what seemed like an eternity... Petunya and Annoyance wandered about on the moor for the rest of the day. They were nervous and lonely. They felt used, embarrassed and frightened. When evening came, they went back to their house. There were no lamps lit, but in the glow of the firelight they could see - through their freshly broken window - the creepy glitter of their new mother's glass eyes. They could hear the thump of her wooden tail. They could see the glint of her sharpened teeth. They shivered. In another part of the world, mother (after reconstructive surgery following her torpedo attack) and baby (who, although unbelievably annoying, was still pretty damn cute) were reunited with the voyaging sailor, and lived happily ever after. The End. IP: Logged
edgewyze Member	posted 04-17-2001 01:18 PM Lies. Every last word. IP: Logged
ANNOYANCE Member	posted 04-17-2001 01:20 PM The first words are true, though. IP: Logged
edgewyze Member	posted 04-17-2001 01:22 PM Okay but maybe I like the glittering eyes and the thumping wooden tail and the sharp teeth. And the sailor who comes home. But you're still mean. IP: Logged
ANNOYANCE Member	posted 04-17-2001 01:24 PM No one's perfect. IP: Logged
edgewyze Member	posted 04-17-2001 01:24 PM And irresistable. IP: Logged
ANNOYANCE . Member	posted 04-17-2001 02:34 PM Perfectly icky. I'm feeling the chemistry. Nice story, ANNOYANCE. It took me somewhere. IP: Logged
ANNOYANCE . Member	posted 04-17-2001 02:51 PM I'm "pretty damn cute." IP: Logged
safetydancer Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:04 PM quote: Originally posted by edgewyze: Okay but maybe I like the glittering eyes and the thumping wooden tail and the sharp teeth. And the sailor who comes home. But you're still mean. who are you edgewyze? IP: Logged
edgewyze Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:05 PM quote: Originally posted by safetydancer: who are you edgewyze? who are you safetydancer? IP: Logged
safetydancer Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:09 PM quote: Originally posted by edgewyze: who are you safetydancer? You can't answer a question with a question. Well, I mean, you can, but that doesn't get us anywhere now, does it? IP: Logged
edgewyze Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:11 PM I am the woman in the painting. The injury was deep, but she's recovered. And her sailor has come home. IP: Logged
edgewyze Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:12 PM quote: Originally posted by safetydancer: You can't answer a question with a question. Well, I mean, you can, but that doesn't get us anywhere now, does it? I suspect I'll get NO answer from you shy boy. I always give more than I get. IP: Logged
safetydancer Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:13 PM he looks like a ghost. IP: Logged
edgewyze Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:13 PM quote: Originally posted by safetydancer: he looks like a ghost. he is. IP: Logged
safetydancer Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:15 PM quote: Originally posted by edgewyze: I suspect I'll get NO answer from you shy boy. I always give more than I get. shy? I think you misunderstand me at times. IP: Logged
edgewyze Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:17 PM quote: Originally posted by safetydancer: shy? I think you misunderstand me at times. okay, secretive, self protective, mysterious, which I probably a wise thing. gotta get me some of that wisdom stuff. So does ANNOYANCE think you are a little puppet that can be made to dance? Is that the gist? IP: Logged
edgewyze Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:19 PM Because writing to you is very like a dance. I like this dance with you. It is not a dirty dance. It is a very safe dance. (we are good and decent people) IP: Logged
safetydancer Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:21 PM quote: Originally posted by edgewyze: So does ANNOYANCE think you are a little puppet that can be made to dance? Is that the gist? I'm not sure. It certainly has worked for you, though. I hadn't paid attention to Annoyance. The irony of the name was that I found them to be anything but annoying in the first place. But I see you here. I see your comments and suddenly I'm curious about the peculiar nature of annoyance and the fact that there is something there that involves you. If I am a puppet, then I am Grover. IP: Logged
safetydancer Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:22 PM quote: Originally posted by edgewyze: It is a very safe dance. (we are good and decent people) it is. I am. IP: Logged
ANNOYANCE . Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:23 PM quote: Originally posted by ANNOYANCE .: I'm "pretty damn cute." That, you are. IP: Logged
ANNOYANCE . Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:26 PM Safteydancer, you are a puppet named "Munch". IP: Logged
safetydancer Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:26 PM quote: Originally posted by ANNOYANCE .: Safteydancer, you are a puppet named "Munch". You just blew my mind. IP: Logged
edgewyze Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:26 PM We have a history. ANNOYANCE has made me dance like a puppet, yes. ANNOYANCE knows just what strings to yank on, and then to release. ANNOYANCE tells lies about responsibility. ANNOYANCE is the instigator of things that have happened to me that crazy people think are happening to them. ANNOYANCE is a friend. But not really. But you're much more fun. IP: Logged
edgewyze Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:28 PM And ANNOYANCE . (with a dot) is a thorn in ANNOYANCE (without a dot)'s side! IP: Logged
safetydancer Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:30 PM quote: Originally posted by edgewyze: We have a history. fascinating. Very fascinating. Annoyance is not in the painting, though. They just tell the stories. Brutal and honest, but more brutal than honest. IP: Logged
ANNOYANCE . Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:31 PM Yes, ANNOYANCE is my twin sister And I am a thorn in her side The yin to her yang Edgewyze loves me just the same IP: Logged
safetydancer Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:32 PM quote: Originally posted by edgewyze: But you're much more fun. because I'm much more real. Annoyance with a dot still blew my mind. I'm still trying to recover, but I think I know more now than I did just a few minutes ago. IP: Logged
safetydancer Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:33 PM so which one are you, edge? IP: Logged
ANNOYANCE . Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:33 PM hee hee! IP: Logged
edgewyze Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:37 PM neither [This message has been edited by edgewyze (edited 04-17-2001).] IP: Logged
ANNOYANCE . Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:41 PM _ [This message has been edited by ANNOYANCE . (edited 04-17-2001).] IP: Logged
safetydancer Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:41 PM I see. It all makes sense now. Everything from Annoyance to Annoyance. And you too. I am real. I am safetydancer and flagkiller and DenmarkDave and wormwood (sometimes, but not always). these are not secrets. But I was him first and still am. And now I must get back into my box and walk on. I am sorry too. [This message has been edited by safetydancer (edited 04-17-2001).] IP: Logged
ANNOYANCE . Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:43 PM There's no need to spill the beans, DW. IP: Logged
safetydancer Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:43 PM and Annoyance with a dot, thanks IP: Logged
edgewyze Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:44 PM quote: Originally posted by safetydancer: because I'm much more real. Are you? I am not either ANNOYANCE. I think ANNOYANCE is a genius, even tho I have been hurt by her. I don't even know why she comes here. I think ANNOYANCE with a dot is glorious for getting ANNOYANCE's goat. (and making it wear a goofy flowered hat). IP: Logged
safetydancer Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:44 PM quote: Originally posted by ANNOYANCE .: There's no need to spill the beans, DW. Well now you're just going too far!! Besides, my secrets were not secrets any more. They had been exposed for some time, thanks to smart people like yourself. I'll be walking to Helena, writing the Bible Pt. II if anyone needs me. IP: Logged
ANNOYANCE . Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:46 PM Okay. IP: Logged
safetydancer Member	posted 04-17-2001 03:46 PM quote: Originally posted by edgewyze: *Are you?* yes. (with a dot) IP: Logged

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