posted 04-17-2001 08:27 PM            

So I'm standing there, decked out in Goth wear, and he's, well, he's laughing his ass off. And I'm like what? And he's like nothing, but he can barely get it out without spitting. I'm totally confused because I looked in the mirror and I thought I looked pretty good. Damn it, stop!

All right, why? Why is the mere idea of me as a Goth so unbelievably funny? Am I too nice looking? Do I look like a wuss? Do you look at me and think soft-mannered priss? I'm serious, this is bothering me!

I can be a bad girl, you know. I can… get down. I can go out and get drunk and flail around in a mosh pit. Get a couple shots in me and I'm a mad woman, damn it!

Fine! Fine, I get the picture. I'm a school teacher, locked forever in the role of a role model, destined to never be risqué again. I'll go sit in my office and research my lesson plan. With the door open, of course… wouldn't want to risk any rumors.

Actually… maybe that's what I should do. I'll take a meeting with a student, and I'll - horror of horrors - I'll leave the door closed. And locked, I'll lock it. And… and maybe I'll even flirt with him! Then what would happen? Then people will know who I am! Then people will see my potential!

posted 04-17-2001 08:28 PM            

For those who are going to make something up, don't have the character telling a story.

Those who watch monologues say that is death.

Three minutes is an eternity, I'm surprised she gets that long.

How old is she, what is she like?

A rep from Carlyn Davis casting here in DC says they learn more about the actors from their choice of a monologue than they do from the actual performance.

posted 04-17-2001 08:32 PM            

the woman is my uncle's girlfriend, she's a memorizing feind, taking the bus in from boston tomorrow at 2pm for a night casting meeting (or whatever the heck) she has 4 hours to sit on the bus and memorize.

she's in her mid 30's, but teeny and could play mid 20's to mid 30's. she's feisty and stylish... um... what sorts of things should I tell about her? I can see her doing uppity-bitchy, (I wanted her to do the "malice" monologue - I saw a girl do that recently - it was a beautiful thing) but she thinks something comic for 'ed' would be approp.

posted 04-17-2001 08:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by BJ:
ehhehe I want one to give her with 'baby got back' in it. LOL (she has no 'back') (YES I'm listening to Sir Mix A Lot)

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posted 04-17-2001 08:40 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by b-man:
My anaconda don't want none, 'less you got buns hon.

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LOL now I'm on Vanilla Ice LOL LOL LOL LOL
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it!

posted 04-17-2001 08:48 PM            

Check this out: http://www.perspicacity.com/elactheatre/workshop/monos.htm

This is worth bookmarking.

And dfogg can submit his to them.

posted 04-17-2001 08:53 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by backgroundgrrl:
Also, I have heard that if you can read the entire script that's best, because sometimes people give wierd readings if they don't know the backstory.

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posted 04-17-2001 08:54 PM            

Ally McBeal! Ally McBeal! Middle of dinner, and all of a sudden, Ally McBeal! 'What?' I say, and he smiles at me and says, 'I've been trying all night to figure out who you remind me of. You look just like Ally McBeal.'

Are men really that stupid? Do they think twigs are attractive? I mean, sure, given a big enough knothole they'd probably screw a tree with glee, but come on! This is a human being, there's supposed to be something between flesh and bone!

And like I look like that anorexic cry-baby anyway! I look nothing like her! I'm not thin. I'm not flat. I'm not a skeleton with eyes. Baby got back, damn it! Baby got breasts! Baby got every damn thing baby needs to be real!

I'm through. I'm through with men and their artificial fantasies and their artificial compliments and their artificial dicks. What? Like half the country doesn't pad their shorts?

Seriously, screw it, I'm done with the male of the species. In this day and age what are they good for? I've got a job on my own, friends of my own, a vibrating dildo to keep me company at night. And kids? Right now I couldn't want them less, and if I do… sperm bank. Or David Crosby, I hear he sells his milk separate from the cow.

posted 04-17-2001 09:02 PM            

I liked the analogy one from that link, that's very funny.

posted 04-17-2001 09:05 PM            

--------------------------------------------

Have you ever taken a subway before? I have. Ever ridden a public bus before? I have. Ever gotten to where you're going riding the bus or the subway? Rats, you got me there...

I rode the subway for the first time the other day. I was going to Brooklyn. To a party. To a meeting that would likely turn quickly into a party. I was supposed to take the bus, the N6, from my place to the train station, then a train all the way to Flatbush Ave, a quick bus ride, and hike it the last couple blocks. Well I took the bus, the first one, and I took it right past the train station. I went too far, and immediately, immediately I was lost.

This lady told me to get to Flatbush Ave I should hop on this other bus and go to this other station and get on this other train that I'd never heard of. And stupidly I did, because the train she told me to transfer to was a train that I actually had heard of, and I knew it would get me where I wanted to go. So I went.

Come to find out the train she was talking about wasn't so much running that day as it, well... wasn't. There was another train in its place, but it would go to the same places, so I hopped on - not easy to do in this thing - and I rode. And I got off where she told me to and I went to find the train I knew, but the problem was, there was no elevator at this station.

You can't possibly have felt this feeling. The feeling of being trapped, of being lost, of being helpless and alone, all at the same damn time. Imagine being in a ballroom. You have to go the bathroom, desperately. And there's people all around you, and they're living their lives. And they tell you where the bathroom is. And you go. And when you get there you realize you're three inches tall, and there's no way, no way, no way you can reach the knob. And beyond that, beyond that no one can hold it open for you because there's a gap in the floor six inches wide and you can't make that jump.

posted 04-17-2001 09:12 PM            

Are you just churning this stuff out as we speak? If so I may have to smack you, oh prolific one.

Your story reminds me of two quick stories.

My big brother was going to visit our uncle using public transit in LA. He was maybe 11. My dad just dumped him off at a busstop and went home.

Turns out the bus stop had been discontinued. My brother sat there for hours. I don't know why he isn't still sitting there.

Remember how I told you I had an evile brother-in-law with cp?

He has a manual (?) wheelchair which he can move by sort of scooting with his foot and moving backwards. Lord knows why he doesn't have something electric, he's got money.

Anyway he was getting on the metro train in DC, and his chair got stuck in the gap between the train and the platform.

The train drove away, and dragged him and his chair off of the platform. He fell onto his back and laid there screaming for help for about 20 minutes before the station manager found him. It was late at night so the trains were infrequent.

posted 04-17-2001 09:26 PM            

Did I tell you why I hate him? He's a child molester. And I have kids who I need to protect. Thank god he's disabled, it makes it easier for them to avoid him.

And now I really will go to hell.

posted 04-17-2001 09:31 PM            

You can give it back to me in the morning. It'll be our secret.

Meantime, I'm off to bed.

posted 04-18-2001 06:38 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by dfogg:
Sleeping... It's 6:40 in LA...

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