posted 04-09-2001 10:11 PM            

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FORK ON THE LEFT

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posted 04-10-2001 07:59 AM            

hahaha , thanks for the entertainment
S.S. it was great !!!

posted 04-12-2001 12:12 AM            

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Originally posted by HoaxedTotem:

hahaha , thanks for the entertainment
S.S. it was great !!!

=)

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Original response posted by Al Ameda:

Mr. Totem, thank you, as your handle is entertainment! Always loved it. Always will.

Hoaxed Regards,
-stooge

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posted 04-12-2001 12:21 AM            

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Rumor has it in Rolling Stone magazine...
<*gasp* Rolling Stone magazine? It's gotta be true...>
...that Shapely Stooge, Hollywood Agent for the deceased, has signed his clients, the Marx Brothers, to produce and star in their whacky spoof...

I Know What You Did Last Stolen Summer

When asked for comments, Mr. Pete Jones deadpanned, "They were good. They were very good. But let's face it, they're dead. I'm alive. They're not even in the same league."

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posted 04-12-2001 12:36 AM            

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In a candid interview with Two Ducks Quacking magazine, Mr. Ben Affleck pooh-poohed the rumors that he was affiliated with I Know What You Did Last Stolen Summer.

"My loyalties belong to Pete and our project," Ben snarls as he splashes water at Two Ducks ace reporter, Glen Dora. "As a writer, Snakely Stooge is a hack. As a lawyer and a talent representative, he's a ghoul and a bloodsucker."

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posted 04-12-2001 12:52 AM            

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After the Ben Affleck interview in Two Ducks Quacking, the Marx Brothers place production of I Know What You Did Last Stolen Summer in turnaround.

Reasons behind the rumors were that the brothers realized that they were the Hebrews being saved from hell in Mr. Jones' Stolen Summer, allegorically speaking.

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posted 04-12-2001 01:08 AM            

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Two Ducks Quacking magazine drops bombshell and lays egg! Marlon Brando is rumored to be in negotiations to play the FATHER who sends young PETE on his quest in Stolen Summer.

Unconfirmed sources claim that Brando intends to portray the priest as an hybrid cross between his role as Colonel Kurtz in Apocolypse Now and Vito Corleone in The Godfather.

Actor/Writer/Producer, Ben Affleck, who won an Academy Award for his collaborative screenplay Good Will Hunting, was angered to the extent that he brought charges against the magazine and nearly strangled Boiler Room co-star, Giovanni Ribisi. A restrangling order for future articles is now in effect.

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posted 04-12-2001 01:19 AM            

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In an rare and candid statement to Reports, Project Greenlight Executive Producer, Shiela "kit" McLaughlin expressed her concerns:

"If Mr. Brando is considering a part in Stolen Summer, Two Ducks Quacking may have ruined negotiations and sabotaged any future deals. I don't blame Ben for getting angry."

Off the record, kit was overheard as having said, "This could be the biggest role Brando sits on since his roll was buttered in Last Tango in Paris."

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posted 04-12-2001 01:41 AM            

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In an exclusive PGL Documentary interview with Acadamy Award winner, Matt Damon, the topic of conversation led to I Know What You Did Last Stolen Summer.

Mr. Damon commented, "If the Marx Brothers are dead, tell my mother that I stayed with the only brothers I have left: Chris, Ben, and Porgie Tirebiter."

When asked about Marlon Brando, Mr. Damon said matter-of-factly, "I really liked him in Superman but that whole clip-the-fingernails and butter thing in Tango really grossed me out."

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posted 04-12-2001 01:48 AM            

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In a last ditch effort to restore ties with the Project Greenlight community, Shapely Stooge (aka Little Tito, aka Pico Sepulveda, aka Alfredo Garcia, aka Hans Strong) submits public apology to Pete Jones and Stolen Summer producers.

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posted 04-12-2001 01:55 AM            

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Shapely Stooge is still unable to secure a place setting at the bargaining table with the producers of Stolen Summer. The only deceased entertainer the executive producers will shell out any drachma for is Mr. Lee Marvin, whom Shapely Stooge does NOT represent (much to Stooge's sadness).

The Stooge is over a barrel on this one.

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posted 04-12-2001 02:04 AM            

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Having abandonned the film project I Know What You Did Last Stolen Summer, Harpo Marx went on a whirlwind nine-month Southeast Asian tour entitled Harpo's One-Man Show: A Woman For All Seasons.

When asked to comment, Harpo replied, " "

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posted 04-12-2001 02:17 AM            

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When asked to comment on all that has transpired over the Stolen Summer/I Know What You Did Last Stolen Summer/Marx Brothers/Marlon Brando/Lee Marvin/Pete Jones/Ben Affleck/Sheila McLaughlin/Matt Damon/Shapely Stooge situation, Jon Stewart shrugged uncontrolably as if inflicted with a spasmodic twitch and said nothing.

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posted 04-13-2001 09:15 AM            

<<~~~~~Mrs. HoaxedTotem

But thx for the complement all the same !

posted 04-13-2001 11:54 PM            

(This is my third post).

posted 04-14-2001 12:00 AM            

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Originally posted by HoaxedTotem:

<<~~~~~Mrs. HoaxedTotem

But thx for the complement all the same !

=)

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Original response toasted by Shakely Stooge:

Please accept my most humble apologies, dear lady...

I still love your handle, however...

Utmost Regards,
-stooge

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posted 04-14-2001 09:38 PM            

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Originally posted by Contesa von Kahlem:
I don't get it.

(This is my third post).

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Original response posted by Shapely Stooge:

That's okay, Contesa. I don't get it either.

Best Misunderstood Regards,
-sttoge

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posted 04-15-2001 12:18 AM            

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Attorneys representing Pete Jones are investigating possible copyright infringements as several scenes from I Know What You Did Last Stolen Summer, when read backwards, very closely resemble scenes from Stolen Summer. One scene from I Know... Stolen Summer in particular, emphatically states: "Paul is dead."

The Writers' Guild of America has suspended memberships for the two colaborating writers of I Know What You Did Last Stolen Summer: deceased director, Frank Capra, who is rep'd by Shapely Stooge...

and...

film director and former Monty Python's Flying Circus member, Terry Gilliam. The two gentlemen were slated to direct the Marx Brothers in episodes of the parody. Outraged at what Gilliam called, "rectal cranial inversion of the bourgeoisie," Gilliam burns his WGA card in protest. This was Terry Gilliam's second WGA burning in three years.

The late Frank Capra was unavailable for comment.

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posted 04-15-2001 12:32 AM            

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Ben Affleck and Matt Damon met with Frank Capra and Terry Gilliam at The Writer's Guild of America-West in Los Angeles on Friday the 13th. Affleck and Damon gave the Writer's Guild their whole-hearted support in the matter against Capra and Gilliam.

Affleck declined comment but Damon smiled and gestured to the veteran directors indicating that Project Greenlight was still NUMBER ONE. Capra and Gilliam took the gesture to mean something else entirely and stormed out of the office building at 3rd and Wilshire.

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posted 04-15-2001 12:37 AM            

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[This message has been edited by Shapely Stooge (edited 04-15-2001).]

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posted 04-15-2001 01:11 AM            

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Though Pope John Paul II has given Pete Jones, Stolen Summer, and Project Greenlight his blessing at a "Film's With Religious Content" summit in Havana, Cuba...

...PGL message poster, "cuantos," refuses to give the nod of approval or acceptance to the Pete Jones project. Cuantos is more popularly known as avant-garde film artist, Kurt Kren.

Says Kren, "It's just not real. It's just not believable. The hell is not real hell. The death is not real death. The Jews are not real Jews. The Pete is not real Pete.... The Catholicism is just not Catholic. If you are going to make a movie, it must be believable in every area... like that movie, what's it called? Oh, yes, the Matrix... now that was a believable movie... of course, except for that part where Cypher gets in and out of the Matrix with no help from anyone, but otherwise, totally believable. Oh yeah, and how come the..."

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posted 04-15-2001 03:19 PM            

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Mr. Jones calmly announces that most of the locations will be shot on the southside of Chicago...

On hearing the news of the southside shooting, Mr. Affleck grabbed a familiar device and donned a festive disguise to scout locations...

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posted 04-19-2001 11:33 PM            

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Originally posted by thunderfoot:
Shapely Stooge you are awful!!!!! AWFUL, I say. This grated on my last nerve.

Thundy

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Original response posted by Estately eStooge:

<with cheesy Elvis impersonation> Thank you. Thank you very much.

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posted 04-19-2001 11:58 PM            

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Reports on Rodeo Drive prints rumors- and now the stories behind the rumors... re: the Michael Madsen audition for Stolen Summer. The role: SATAN. Though not actually written into the script, the part of the Prince of Darkness will be present throughout the picture. "All Satans before me were wimps," quips Madsen with a sardonic grin. "I AM evil."

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posted 04-22-2001 02:04 PM            

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Continuing to ponder throughout the documentary, PGL Member "cuantos" (aka Kurt Kren) inquires, "Why is it that the Agents in The Matrix can go in and out of other people but when Trinity was kickin' Boys-in-Blue butt in the beginning, they just didn't zap in then?"

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posted 04-23-2001 10:32 PM            

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Quetee and Pickle87 on the road to Chicago, taking on the most difficult roles of their careers- Official Project Greenlight Personal Bodyguards and Resident Champions for Mr. Pete Jones.

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posted 04-23-2001 10:40 PM            

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HoaxedTotem is named Official Stolen Summer debutante...

fork ON THE LEFT, BAAAY-BEE, YEEEEEAAAAH!

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posted 04-23-2001 10:55 PM            

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PGL Member "jogrady" wows Mr. Jones and producers during cold reading and subsequent screen test for Stolen Summer. jogrady (pictured below) was hired as a production assistant after much consideration. "He looked too much like Ben," said Chris Moore of Live Planet. "And the beard reminds us of Shapely Stooge and we don't even want to go there."

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posted 04-23-2001 11:23 PM            

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When PGL Member "Thunderfoot" enters the Pete Jones Forum, PGL Executive Producer Shiela "kit" McLaughlin exposes Thundy's identities as veteran actors, Clint Eastwood and Jeff Bridges. "It was so obvious," commented kit. "They entered with the sign-on handle similar to a movie they did together," kit continued. "I can't remember the exact name of the movie.... It was before I was born."

<Thunderbolt and Lightfoot, very very frightfoot, mi/ Galileo/mi/Galileo/mi/Galileo, Figero/magnifico-o-o-o>

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posted 04-26-2001 03:02 PM            

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Original voice posted by Elmer Fudd:

Fowak on da weff...

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