posted 05-06-2001 01:23 AM            

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Originally posted by big hair:
That was great!! It was just the uplift my spirits need before I go study for Organic Chemistry, Molecular Genetics and Developmental Biology. (I'm not kidding.) Thank you so much.

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Original response posted by Shapely Stable Boy:
You know what's great? YOUR HANDLE! Love it! So what are you going to do after all that studying? Clone?

Beehive Regards,
Shapely Staff Infection

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posted 05-09-2001 12:28 AM            

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[This message has been edited by Shapely Studio Recording (edited 05-09-2001).]

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posted 05-10-2001 12:09 AM            

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Stolen Summer Secret Casting casted Project Greenlight Executive Producer, Shiela "kit" McLaughlin, as the mother of "Little Pete." Her experience as "Brandon's Mom" in Galaxy Quest nailed it for the 17-year-old actress/producer/web monger.

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posted 05-10-2001 12:57 AM            

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Project Greenlight Member and Hollywood Scientist, "big hair," develops a new genetic molecule at the Biological Clone Factory on Sunset and Gower. The young molecule, named "no hair," had trouble holding its organic chemistry down after several servings of Pinot Noir and endive salad served up at the Whiskey-A-Go-Go.

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posted 05-12-2001 09:03 AM            

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Pope John Paul II arrives at Chicago's O'Hare airport to officially bless the production of Stolen Summer. To a small crowd of mixed boos and cheers, the pontiff quoted Eclectic Cattle Productions' slogan, "Possunt, quia posse videnture!"

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posted 05-17-2001 03:20 AM            

<<~~~~~~ secretly hoping that Big Hair will find a cure one day for the Bad Hair day !!!

posted 05-17-2001 09:54 PM            

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Bonnie Hunt cast as Little Pete's Mom in Stolen Summer! When secretly interviewed by Two Ducks Quacking magazine, Ms. Hunt smiled, "I, it was, well, you know, I just had, and then there was- you see what I'm saying?" Ms. Hunt chose the Iconoclast's Magnificat pose, standing in front of a poster advertising The Project Greenlight Mile.

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posted 05-17-2001 10:13 PM            

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Knowing Ben Affleck's feelings toward Two Ducks Quacking, Project Greenlight's cub reporter, Lynn Wood, corners Mr. Affleck for a comment. "Bonnie can speak to whomever she wants," said Affleck calmly. Then his countenance changed and he raged, "But you'll never own a home in this town if you ever ask me another question about Two Schmucks Jacking!"

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posted 05-17-2001 10:33 PM            

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HoaxedTotem secretly hopes "that Big Hair will find a cure one day for the Bad Hair day !!!" Two Ducks Quacking Science Editor, Pico Rivera, uncovers secret experiments performed by Hollywood genetic scientist, Big Hair. At Mrs. Totem's request and harbored desire, testing was conducted by Big Hair at the Sunset and Gower laboratories. Cloned molecules were used and the results were horrifying. Clones grew to nearly adult size in less than two hours and resembled pop singer Sinead O'Conner. A photo smuggled from the labs depicts a clone howling over its bad hair day.

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posted 05-17-2001 10:48 PM            

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The announcement of Bonnie Hunt replacing Kit as Little Pete's Mom was heartbreaking to the Web Site Executive Producer. She sulked for 27 seconds and returned to her robotic ways as the Greenlight Message Board Big Kahuna.

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posted 05-17-2001 11:17 PM            

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Kept under tight wraps until Two Ducks Quacking ace snoop reporter, Sherman Oaks, unravels this late-breaking news item: Another Mother was under consideration for the part of Little Pete's Mom- former Mothers of Invention band member, Frank Zappa. The reclusive musician was unavailable for comment.

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posted 05-18-2001 04:53 AM            

LmFaO S.S.

posted 05-18-2001 10:18 PM            

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Originally posted by HoaxedTotem:

LmFaO S.S.

Forking Hilarious !!!

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Original response posted by Shapely Stage Direction:

May the FORK be with us...

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posted 05-18-2001 11:21 PM            

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In an unprovoked fit of rage, Anthony Quinn displays his displeasure after finding out that the Quinn that was announced to play the role of Little Pete's Father in Stolen Summer was NOT him. Two Ducks Quacking pavoratti, Holly Wootenvine, captured the kodak moment as the actor pulls a steak knife on Richard Johnson, a passing waiter. "Why didn't someone tell me he wasn't me!" the thousand-year-old actor yelled. "What is this aiden?!?!"

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posted 05-18-2001 11:31 PM            

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Exhibiting more than mere traces of professionalism, Anthony Quinn, prepares for the role of Stolen Summer's Rabbi. The Academy Award winning actor is once again enraged when he discovers that the part of the Rabbi has been given to someone else. "I grew this, this wonderful whisker, eh, whiskers and they give it to this, this, this Pollack!" says Quinn sternly. "What is this Pollack?!?!"

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posted 05-19-2001 04:49 PM            

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Originally posted by mack daddy:
FORK YOU, stooge!

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Original response posted by Shapely Stilton:

And may the Fork be with you too...

By the by, what the heck is a mack daddy???

Best Regards,
Shapely Stowaway

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posted 05-19-2001 10:56 PM            

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Originally posted by vorpal:
Stooge, you're a forkin' gene mutation. To Be Continued...

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Original response posted by Shapley Stencil:

Vorpal, my friend and cut-up with rapier-like wit... thanks for stopping by.

Best Regards,
Shapely Stenographer

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posted 05-19-2001 11:25 PM            

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After selling his soul to the devil in End of Days, Kevin Pollack was looking for something a little more kosher. He found it as Stolen Summer's Rabbi. The fourth generation Irishman went to every length to land the part. "I heard that Anthony Quinn was up for this part, and I, you know, like freaked. I'm up against Zorba the forking Greek. I mean, didn't he win an academy award for something? Anyway, I hear Quinn's grown a beard and the schmuck's already got that accent, you know- I mean, he already looks like a Pharisee... so I went out and got circumcised."

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posted 05-19-2001 11:50 PM            

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Brian Dennehy picks up the Big Picture Bible to prepare for his part as the Priest in Stolen Summer. The girthy actor has even increased his alcohol intake to a quart of Irish whiskey before lunch and three more quarts throughout the remains of the day. When Stolen Summer Producer, Jeff Balis, informed Mr. Dennehy that he would not have to REALLY take confessions, the actor stumbled, nearly spilling a drop from his silver hip flask, and muttered, "C-c-c-can I still keep-k-k-keep drinking for my rheum, uh, rheuma, eh, aches and pains?"

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posted 05-20-2001 01:09 AM            

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Actor Aiden Quinn (shown below) sports a festive smile at January '99 screening of the HBO miniseries, The Sopranos. According to Two Ducks Quacking field reporter, Van Nuys, Mr. Quinn has not been smiling publicly since shooting of Stolen Summer began. "He isn't even seen publicly," Van reports over the phone. "He goes straight from his trailer, to the set, and then back to his trailer." It has been speculated that Aiden Quinn fears the wrath of Anthony Quinn.... "That may very well be," Van comments. "Anthony Quinn is one tough customer. Did you see him in Barabbas? And how about that steak knife story..."

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posted 05-23-2001 10:05 PM            

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"Hmmm. I've been enjoying telling the documentary crew that I got this job through a prison work-release program," says Stolen Summer BTL talent, rusty-johnson, in a candid interview with Two Ducks Quacking. "I love the looks of shock, disdain, and even tribute," he grins. Two Ducks Quacking archivist, Will Shire, dug up this photo of rusty-johnson's prison release...

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posted 05-23-2001 11:10 PM            

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"Hey! I'm the Production Coordinator on Shapely Stooge!" TrudyLarue tells the "Stolen Summer" Cast and Crew Forum. True to form, here she is on top of Shapely Stooge... Stooge is under her bed...

"I'm also the PC on Stolen Summer," she adds. "I came on board just before the blessed Event, helped the Top Ramen during their stay in LA, spent some time @ LivePlanet in LA prepping the film and then made the move to Chicago for the shoot. We all love to dodge bullets so if you have any weapons, fire away!"

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posted 06-08-2001 06:59 AM            

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PGL Message Board Poster and Stolen Summer critic, "billhays" walks down the red carpet at the Shrine Auditorium, escorted by notorious PGL poster and celebrity breast-double, "rollerfink." Mr. Hays will be awarded his VERY OWN THREAD. "It's about time, you know? I mean, on these boards, I don't get no respect. No respect at all, you know?"

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posted 06-08-2001 07:15 AM            

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To present Mr. Hays with his VERY OWN THREAD is PGL Message Board poster and Pete Jones champion, "Pickle87," seen here trying to keep her own threads on.

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posted 06-08-2001 07:27 AM            

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Also attending the "billhays" VERY OWN THREAD presentation is Bill's very own mother, the late actress, Helen Hayes. Hayes, who is rep'd by Shapely Stooge, is producing and starring in the remake of her Academy Award winning endeavor, The Sin of Madelon Claudet. Rumor has it that Bill dropped the "e" from his last name when he found out that mommy sought representation with Stooge.

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posted 06-08-2001 07:35 AM            

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Honoring Bill with a special song at his VERY OWN THREAD presentation is his second cousin, Isaac Hayes...

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posted 06-08-2001 07:44 AM            

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Actor Wesley Snipes attends the VERY OWN THREAD gala. "I figured I should be here," says Snipes, "because I played Willie Mays Hayes in Major League."

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posted 06-08-2001 07:54 AM            

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Former U.S. President, Rutherford Birchard Hayes, threw out the first baseball at billhays' VERY OWN THREAD Showcase and Review. Ijury lead to insult lead to injury as the baseball bopped a jazz musician in the buttocks and bounced hard into Anthony Quinn's beard. An outraged Quinn grabbed a butter knife and threatened a waiter and Marlon Brando.

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