posted 04-09-2001 03:34 PM            

This script is, matter-of-factly, a sign of the times!!

All the Best to you and your family,
Darlene Peacock
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Parts of your story, other than the obvious, that stuck with me:

Danny
The Sox are getting clobbered Dad.

Rabbi
They've been getting clobbered all my life.

Danny
Me too.

(Did I read too much into this? I got the feeling this was also referring to Danny's bout with cancer)

but good lines
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The dialogue between Patrick and his father is compelling. Very REAL.

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I love the fact that we always catch Katie in the scene dancing.....

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Patrick
How can you just stand there? You're married to an asshole and you just stand there like an innocent by-stander.

(WOW!! I felt pain for Patrick's Mother...but relieved that someone said it!)

*maybe cut down on the use of the word "stand"

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Danny and Pete's dialogue seem a bit advanced for children of their ages...but maybe my kids' were just a bit s-l-o-w

posted 04-09-2001 04:07 PM            

I am not even a parent, so I am nooooo real judge of how children speak, but that was my general impression of the children's dialogue.

posted 04-09-2001 09:09 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Pete Jones:
darzam,

Thanks for the kind words. The kid's mature conversations are walking a thin line, but I'm writing from my own experiences. I questioned these topics at that age because I remember being so intrigued with eating a piece of bread that is supposed to actually be someone. A lot of children just go about their day, but there are a few that question things. That's all these kids are doing. I hope it plays that way.

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I am positive they will make it play that way....

The story moved along very smoothly.

Again, Congrats, and Good Luck to you!!

posted 04-10-2001 08:11 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Pete Jones:
darzam,

Thanks for the kind words. The kid's mature conversations are walking a thin line, but I'm writing from my own experiences. I questioned these topics at that age because I remember being so intrigued with eating a piece of bread that is supposed to actually be someone. A lot of children just go about their day, but there are a few that question things. That's all these kids are doing. I hope it plays that way.

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Wow you mean it read that way for you too Pete ! Whew... what a relief , with some of the others comments I was begining to wonder if I was losing my ability to comprehend things the way they truely are !!!

posted 04-12-2001 09:04 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by HoaxedTotem:

Wow you mean it read that way for you too Pete ! Whew... what a relief , with some of the others comments I was begining to wonder if I was losing my ability to comprehend things the way they truely are !!!

=)

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Fortunately guys, there ARE alot of children who DO question things at an early age.

...Unfortunately, many of those questions are NOT regarding Religion. And definately not as in depth as Pete by age 7 (this is rare).

So, there may be many people who do not comprehend that a child of this age, would have such a deep understanding of religion.

....the common sense to even be asking those type of questions....