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T O P I C     R E V I E W
schlerf	DAY ONE "I Made It Through The Rain..." Today was the inaugural date of the "Schlerf Across America" Tour 2001, and it kicked off with not a bang but a downpour. Shortly after our latest, greatest moving day began, the skies opened up and wouldn't shut up for about 8 hours or so. My only glimpse of the sun came about a quarter of a mile before the time zone change to Central time. The great solar body and all around groovy orb made its brief appearance and then was once again gone behind a bureaucracy of clouds; it wasn't much, but enough to make me believe that she hadn't abandoned me for good. Tomorrow, as they say, is another day. And speaking of saying, I have to say that with all the excitement of late (some known to all, some still secreted away by my greedy self), it was a blessing to be back on the road, making that move which I have made oh-so-many times in the last ten years (current Continental Relocation Count is up to 5, though I only drove 4 times - conned an old employer to fly me once). There is something both blissful and solemn about putting the highway in front of you without a concise end (short of LA some undetermined # of days in the future). I reckon it has something to do with a respect for the size of things, and how easy it is to take that sense of scope for granted when Modern Transportation can take you wherever you want to be in a matter of hours. I can't help think about a throwaway line from "Sleepy Hollow", where Icabod is told that the town lies two days ride north of the New York City - less than an hour by automobile a couple of years later, give or take a hundred. Today, I drove 900 miles, and while it feels archaic and slow, there is a certain bond I think you can form with the distance that you don't get from the anonymity of air travel. Regardless of what it takes out of me, the trip is most definitely the thing, and I am grateful for the undisturbed stillness of motion. Ok, now that Walt Whitman has crawled out of me and is terrorizing the locals at Shoneys, I shall close by telling you that I am spending the evening (what there is left of it) just outside of Nashville, TN - not much of a country music fan, but I have to say I have always liked this town. Tomorrow I see Arkansas, Oklahoma, and probably Texas. I know each of those states have their sights of wonder, but unfortunately none of them lie on Route 40 Westbound. S'gonna be a dry day whether there's rain or not. Oh, and for shits and giggles, here's what played today on Schlerf Radio. Mostly kept the electronica for tomorrow - gonna need something to get me through the flats... U2 - "All That You Can't Leave Behind" (seemed approp. given the lack of real estate in my car) Neil Finn - "One Nil" (whenever this is released in the US, every man, woman and child should be required to listen) Monkees - personal mix cd (mostly Nesmith with some Dolenz - NO DAVY JONES) Replacements - "Let It Be" (one of my fave albums of all time) Catherine Wheel - "Chrome" (greatest 90's rock band no one knows) Elastica - self-titled (again, one of my faves, should be a classic but alas...) The Cardigans - "First Band on the Moon" (only album I ever bought from hearing it play on a store intercom) Credence Clearwater Revival - "20 Greatest Hits" (was in Virginia by this time, seemed like a good disc for south of the Mason/Dixon) REM - "eponymous" (same reason as above w/ CCR - the time was simply right) Cheap Trick - "One On One" (my uncle turned me on to Cheap Trick with this album when I was 10 - how cool is my uncle???) Pi Soundtrack (ok, couldn't hold out, needed moody techno music) Soul Coughing - Ruby Vroom (makes me think of LA, and there's a song on here about the security guard from my dorm at NYU) Superdrag - In The Valley Of The Dying Stars (great band, needed something that rocked to get me through the home stretch) That's all for now. End of War Journal.
schlerf	DAY TWO "Fear Of A Wet Planet" What is it with me and the soggiest element? I go to Allegedly Sunny Los Angeles for all the wondrous Greenlight festivities, and it rains the whole time. I get back to New Jersey - rain. And now, in the past two days, I have covered over 1700 miles, and have seen less than 3 hours of sunshine. Why hast thou forsaken me?!? I think I feel a complex coming on... One of my favorite things about the X-country jaunt is that it is (in theory, at least) one big ole time out for yours truly. There's really nothing constructive you can do short of soldiering your way though the many miles of this great nation, and because of that, it gives me the perfect out from partaking in serious thought of any kind. Now, if you know me, you know this is a rare occurence on par with solar eclipses and getting me to go dancing. But suffice it to say that, aside from a stuff back and a seemingly-permanent case of hat-head, the trip thus far has had the desired, if somewhat unfamiliar, effect of relaxation. However, I must confess that thoughts of LA are coming along more quickly the further west I get, and in the strangest of places. Made some biz calls to all manner of movers and shakers from a little truck stop in the middle of Arkansas, which struck me as vaguely amusing as visions of Wilshire Blvd. talent agencies danced in my head. Also, passed a sign for the Jiggs Smoke House just west of Clinton, OK - made me think of those rascally "Freeing Mr. Jiggs" boys, which in turn made me realize I'd miss Miss Katie Fetting's LA trip by a day. Bummer. In any event, no matter how I may try to get my mind of my plan for world domination, it seems to seep in much like these damnable rains... FYI- Favorite Place of the Day: Toad Suck Park, Arkansas. Don't have any clue what goes down in Toad Suck Park, and will pay good money to keep it that way. Tonight we're at the Irish Inn in Shamrock, TX. Cute little place, and bless 'em for putting recliners in the rooms. Feet up, stretched out in my boxers with the TV on - all the comforts of home, only a lot more green... And last but not least, here's what DJ Bumpy had spinning on the turntables of the Schlerfmobile this drippy day: Miles Davis - "Miles Davis Plays Ballads" (dunno if it's perfect road music, but it fit that rainy morning mood - though Miles covering Cyndi Lauper "Time After Time" is just WEIRD) Jason Falkner - "Can You Still Feel" (how is it good guys like Falkner end up in the 99 cent bin and the NSync's of the world sell trillions of albums??? There are so many things I don't understand...) Morrissey - "My Early Burglary Years" (HUGE Mozzer fan, somebody give the guy a new record deal, dammit) Fatboy Slim - "Halfway Between The Gutter And The Stars" (YES! Let the techno begin at last!) Apollo 440- "Getting High On Your Own Supply" (amazed these guys aren't as big as the Chemical Bros, they simply are The Deal) The Hobbit: Dramatization - Disc One (ok, I may be a geek, but I have never read Tolkein - figured it's as good a time to start as any...) Beastie Boys - personal mix (PLEASE, it's the Beasties, nuff said) BT - "Movement In Still Life" (such a ridiculously versatile album, it's almost like listening to 11 different artists - one of my faves of last year) "A Life Less Ordinary" Soundtrack (movie's better than people give it credit for, soundtrack is sweet) The Pixies - "Death To The Pixies" Disc One (Needed to rock badly, this paid the bill with change) "Rumble Fish" Soundtrack (was near the OK/TX border at the time, totally S.E. Hinton-land, so the time was just right) Underworld - "Beaucoup Fish" (the ultimate in "night" music - I simply can't listen to it the same way during the day) See ya in Arizona. End of War Journal.
schlerf	DAY THREE "The Ticking Man" Flagstaff, Arizona has been my host on 3 of my 4 previous trips X-country (air travel being the exception, though I was pretty sure I saw Flagstaff waving), and this trip is no exception. There is a certain mystical quality about either beginning or ending a trip under the shadow of these snow-capped mountains, with the knowledge that I am mere miles away from the Greatest Hole In The Ground the world has ever known. And confessions be made, I have never once gazed upon the Grand Canyon on any of these great escapades, nor shall I this time. Fact of that matter is, practical and reasonable explanations aside, it's one big ass hole, and if this planet of ours is ever gonna eat me for lunch, that hole would seem a pretty likely suspect. Never can be too safe... And if you hadn't made the deduction by now - yes, the overwhelming thread of this trip has been my slow painful trajectory deep into the belly of insanity. Unable to live up to the 14- and 13- hour days previous, today was decided to be a leisurely 8 hrs. despite the fact that in all probability I could have bit the bullet and made the midnight show at the New Beverly in LA. Lest ye think that some slacker mentality has taken hold somewhere past the Mississippi, allow me to ask you this simple question: is sleeping on my buddy Brewster's couch really that much more inviting than one more night of hotel hospitality? Today, alas, was spent beyond redemption, and hence Best Western it is. So, with the trip seemingly passing in record time, we find ourselves on what would seem to be the last night before journey's end. And shortly before dinner, as the fatigue of the drive seemed to be waning with the daylight, it started. Itineraries. Goals. Call lists. I can tell I am nearing Los Angeles because my inner secretary is asking for a raise. Guess that's gonna depend how good I am with itineraries, goals, and call lists. Oh, and for those keeping score at home, if I was feeling neglected by the Sun God for the last two days, he more than made up for it today. God Bless The West. Graffiti of the Day: Found in a gas station bathroom in Texas, formerly governed by our current president, and I quote: "Fuck Gorge W. Bush Thiven Bastard!" Apparently, Bush wasn't big on education, either. And because the hits just keep on coming: Trona - "Red River" (has always made me think of Texas even though they are from Boston. Between Trona and his old band Orangutang, Chris Dyas deserves to be a cult icon) Smashing Pumpkins - "Siamese Dream" (nothing gets a morning off to the right start than some sunshine and "Today") "Snatch" Soundtrack ("Do You Know What Nemesis Means...?") The Hobbit: Dramatization - Disc Two and Three (might not be the greatest dramatization ever recorded, but damned if I am not hooked. Last disc for tomorrow AM) The Who- personal mix (how is it that a British band proves to be excellent desert music - will have "5:15" stuck in my head for days) Oasis - personal mix (still think it's hysterical that Liam Gallagher was voted 3rd Most Hated Man In History by the visitors to the British Wax Museum - talk about a badge of honor!) Classical Music mix (had been looking for a reason for some classical the whole trip; today's headache provided me with that reason) The Eagles - personal mix (What else are you going to put on when you're tanking up in Winslow, Arizona?) California Rising. End of War Journal.
schlerf	DAY FOUR - FINAL DAY "The Beginning of the End Is The Beginning" I have to confess some trepidation to rolling into Los Angeles, California - a town with whom I share a torrid history to be certain - on the day most commonly celebrated in history as April Fools Day. A foreboding comment on the haste of my relocation? Some perverse premonition with regards to my chosen profession? Or just a monumentally silly excuse for a holiday, overshadowed only by Arbor Day for its frivolessness? These, my friends, are questions too bold for me to answer, and so, I enter Glorious SoCal blissfully and most intentionally blind to fate's plan for me. It was a odd sort of homecoming - passing down the mountain above San Bernadino I met one of the strangest banks of clouds and fog I may have ever seen out here. Perhaps it was some residual effect from listening to "The Hobbit", but there was a strange sense of mystery and an almost mystical quality to coming down that pass, both into my own future and past at the same time. Ok ok, so I'm romanticizing the whole thing a bit, but it was the one moment on the trip (and even, for that matter, maybe since all this excitement started with Greenlight, etc.) that I was less concerned with "the moment" and more taken with the larger meaning of it all. Not just what may be in store for me, but also how it all fits together - my past, present, future, and all the elements that make them up. And just how immensely thankful I am for that big picture. Good, bad, ugly and all, the story of my life thus far has been at least interesting, and I suppose that's more than anyone has a right to ask for. Soon enough, the clouds were just clouds again, and apparently there's not to be an end to them in LA til the end of the week. We're back to the cruddy weather again, though it's the irony in that which makes being back in Los Angeles all that much sweeter. The Last Playlist: Air - "Virgin Suicides" Soundtrack (has to be some of the most beautiful music ever composed. Or at least in the last decade. Haunting, made the movie) Coldplay - Parachutes (keeping the mellow vibe going, only 3rd time listening to this but it's a keeper) The Hobbit: Dramatization - Disc Four (The End of The Journey - every time I thought I didn't like where it's going it surprised me) The Doors - Best of, CDs 1 and 2 (is there better music to drive across the CA desert to? I think not) Jane's Addiction - Kettle Whistle (very SoCal, and one of the best live shows I have ever seen) Neil Finn - One Nil (only CD I listened to twice on the trip, providing a nice sense of closure - love this album) And so, the Adventure Begins. End of War Journal, Beginning of the War.
ProjectMurph	Schlerf man, Nice to hear you made it to L.A. safe despite what might be a little too much reflection time. I wish you great luck in this coming "war" as you call it. While you are there, get in touch with my bro Brendan. He is out there and trying to pin down an apartment. I am sure he would love to hear from you. Take care bud... Murph (Ryan) P.S. Tell your friend Brewster I said hey.
Pete Jones	Now that was some writing. Damn, I was hooked. Hoped you wouldn't make it just so we could hear some more poetry from the road. Suckass, I'm in Chicago for a little bit but when I get back, if you've got the time MISTER DIRECTOR, let's get together. Hope all is well. later pete
drdefiance	THAT...(they) Was(were) a great post(s).
lvandekirk	Hey, what's up? I just came here to say I liked your script! So I've been a little busy, and am just now reading all the top ten like I planned. So sue me. But anyway, even though everyone else has long ago finished telling you how much they like it, here I am, telling you. And by the way, there are plenty of people here in Texas who are very happy George W. is in Washington. Gets him away from us for a while.
schlerf	Thanks guys - just thought posting the stuff here would be a little different way to spend the nights on the road. S'cool that anyone even READ it. Of course, those nights were divided between the journal entries and planning Pete Jones' embarrassing and thoroughly painful obliteration... (hoped I wouldn't make it so he could RUIN me is more like it........) Oh, and Ryan, if you talk to your bro, tell him to call me - don't have his #. c- [This message has been edited by schlerf (edited 04-05-2001).]
Lune12	Schlerf--what ever happened with MOVIE? Are you going to shoot it with your PGL DV/AVID equipment or did someone option/buy the script? Did you get any interest from agents as a result of being in the Top 10? Apologies if you already mentioned this stuff, but I've been gone for a while.
bittrich	Schlerf, I'm sorry I'm going to (apparently) miss you at that Long Island Film thing. I was looking forward to hanging out with your schlerfness. But I'm glad you're following your dream, my man.
schlerf	It's actually out to a bunch of people, though I am also looking into producing it myself. Lot of things in play still. RE: representation, been talking with a bunch of folks, though nothing's been locked in yet. Damn strike has everyone in a tizzy... Have a better idea what direction I'm going in in a few weeks... quote: Originally posted by Lune12: Schlerf--what ever happened with MOVIE? Are you going to shoot it with your PGL DV/AVID equipment or did someone option/buy the script? Did you get any interest from agents as a result of being in the Top 10? Apologies if you already mentioned this stuff, but I've been gone for a while.
schlerf	Yeah, I'm really bummed I am not gonna be able to make it - basically just got tapped from the move. Think it's going to be a great event though - wish I could be there. Def let me know if you head back out west in any event, and I shall hang with your Duke of Bittrich-ness... c- quote: Originally posted by bittrich: Schlerf, I'm sorry I'm going to (apparently) miss you at that Long Island Film thing. I was looking forward to hanging out with your schlerfness. But I'm glad you're following your dream, my man.
bittrich	quote: Originally posted by schlerf: Yeah, I'm really bummed I am not gonna be able to make it - basically just got tapped from the move. Think it's going to be a great event though - wish I could be there. Def let me know if you head back out west in any event, and I shall hang with your Duke of Bittrich-ness... c- That may happen in late July. The big party that proudleo is putting together seems like an excellent excuse for a trip. I'll let you know if I'm definitely coming.
julie	Hi Schlerf. I read your script, you said it was a comedy and hoped it would bring laughter and it did. I wanted to ask when you wrote this script? I liked how you gave such diverse flavors of hollywood people, while still maintaining how obviously hollywood they all were...even Chris. In your posts about your trek across the country, am I right when I think you are from NJ? Or are you from LA? Well actually where have you spent more time? And are you Chris?
schlerf	Julie - Thanks for the kind words- glad you liked it! Actually wrote it a while ago at this point - during my most recent NJ stay. From there originally, though have bounced back and forth between the coasts for the last 7 or 8 years. As far as my "being" Chris, well, there's definitely some of me in him, though no less than there is me in Justin or many of the others for that matter. Just named him Chris 'cause, well, to be honest I thought it would work for the parody to sort of "mislead" people into thinking it was a standard semi-autobio, which seems to be a cliche with a lot of industry satires.
julie	The character of Justin is a gem. Powerful tool with him. The reason I asked of when this was written, is because of one scene. I have been racking my brain trying to remember. The scene with Chris at the school. I have seen that. I can not place it, I keep thinking a commercial on Bravo or something. I don't exactly know the business of screenwriting, I was wondering if you sold just that scene for a clip or a commercial. Or is it just because coincidence is a bitch?
schlerf	Yeah, someone else said the same thing about the classroom scene - haven't seen anything like it, and don't particularly know that I want to ;-) Yeah, Justin is one of my fave characters that I have come up with. Kind of inspired by the song " Martin Scorsese" by King Missile, but he goes off from there.
klfetting	Hey Schlerf -- How ya doing? LA treating you well? Missed you when I was out there, but saw little Matt Burch and bent over for a bunch of producer-types (not really, folks). Give me an e-mail when you get a chance. Tell me what you're doing ... Katie P.S. Love the day-by-day ... Very informative, yet entertaining ...